Being with the other in their world
The emphasis on 'Being' in this principle is very important. Being can be understood to be reality as it is; what is unfolding without any effort to change or understand it.
The invitation is not only to understand the world of the other person, but to take a step further to surrender into Being with them.
We each have a unique way to surrender—it can be a form of relaxing into our experience, or by bringing more attention to what is happening inside.
From a place of presence, being in connection with another can allow deeper information about their world to emerge. Therefore, we can see and feel more of them, and that can be more than they are initially aware of themselves. Yet this principle also includes not assuming that we know their world better than they do.
Being with another also allows a deeper intimacy to emerge in our experience. Birthday Circling’s more formal structure allows for this principle to be really practiced and mastered.
It is important to be able to move freely in and out of this principle, as it can become a habitual mode of being which is actually less in contact with what is true.
For example, in Surrendered Leadership Circling, Being With the Other in Their World is always informing our communication, but is not always being focused on directly.
The invitation in Surrendered Leadership Circling is to keep the intention of Being With the Other in Their World, without losing trust in what is most present. Commitment to Connection allows us space to go from being with the other, to expressing deep anger at how they impact us for instance.
It is still highly encouraged to get as much intentional practice of this principle as possible.
Birthday Circling is the best practice for this. It gives space for you to feel the other, and to surrender to the impact it has at many levels.
The levels can include (but are not limited to):
Emotionally, e.g. suddenly feeling very lonely and distant.
Thoughts, e.g. noticing confusion and wanting to understand.
Desire, e.g. feeling excitement and wanting to pull them closer.
The level of perception, e.g. seeing the world as more closed in, and perhaps claustrophobic.
Sharing these subtle shifts in your experience can be very revealing for the Circlee. You can also notice the group and see it as a reflection of the Circlee, e.g. - everyone speeding up and asking lots of questions, or half the group feeling spacious and the other half frustrated and wanting more.